Hello Anxiety

So after leaving class today, the only things in my brain were "wow" and "yikes." I was ready to go today, but I'm also kind of glad I got pushed back because everyone's presentations were so brilliant and bright and funny! I like Rian's idea about melancholy, and effects of melancholy displayed in literature. I'm looking forward to hearing parts of her paper. Lisa M followed Rian, and despite her cold managed to give a much more coherent speech than Amy the Anxious will manage I am sure. Her plan to model her paper after Keats is creative and ambitious, as are her overall questions of "where do we begin, where do we end, what is life, and what's the worth of living it?" Her discussion of how she's discovering her own difficulties with moving on, feelings she didn't know she had until she began this oh-so-important paper, were also something I can definitely understand.

Then followed Taylor, with her brilliant, creative paper incorporating excerpts from her own childhood diary. Personal and poetic! A few thoughts of hers that stuck with me: "she is me and isn't me," when referring to her younger self, sparks a variety of thoughts about the different people we all live throughout the years. Also I thought "children of the leaves and children that we leave," was a fabulous connection, and that the garden as an "outside of time place" was a wonderful way to look at childhood, and our conceptions of our childhood lives. One more Taylor thought that got me thinking was the whole idea that children are constantly encouraged to be "big kids now," while at the same time their parents are mourning their loss of innocence. It makes me wonder about our society and what is lost as we rush to grow up, another important facet of Tay's paper.

Sam followed Taylor, and although she said she was nervous, of course her diary-formed paper was first-rate. Her separate parts were funny and engaging, and I liked her section about the lost and found box being always in one box, which reminds me of a line I read somewhere (and can't for the life of me find again): "You are the stars which guide the lost and only the lost can find their way." I loved her conception of "navigating Portland, navigating the book," and navigating life through literature.

Last (and not least) was Tai, who, in a sea of laughs, brought forth some creative insights about rituals and their place in our lives, basing much on his own Bar Mitzvah. One of my favorite parts was when he was talking about the sensei who shuffled the medals (and he still managed to get a silver-nice!) and how it took Tai years to "wade through the density" of life and discover the meaning of the words, instead of just listening to the words.

Once again, I feel privileged to be in a class with all of these people, and am getting severely anxious about my presentation on Wednesday. I'm excited about my ideas...which hopefully will come through in my talk. Unfortunately one professor once informed me (ahem Gwen Morgan) that I lose any humor and charm I might possess and become a fumbling robot in front of the class...so can't wait for that magic. And the magic of the future presentations, as well :).