Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Remember Me!

The time has come...the last blog. A blog I was so sure I would be unbelievably excited/relieved to write, and here I find myself sentimental, a little sad. The day is upon us...graduation (ok, two presentations and three exams and four papers away). A day I've waited months, really years for--watching my friends finish and perform that so-desired of rituals, I've wanted it so much. I was so excited to start the next exciting phase of my life. I honestly only expected to feel a little bit of sadness.
Yet, I realize I am leaving, just as I am starting. "In my ending is my beginning...Through the unknown, remembered gate, when the last of earth left to discover, is that which is the beginning.” I am, for the first time in my entire college career, enjoying all of my classes. I still miss the occasional class, but instead of just feeling guilty, I am genuinely sorry to have missed whatever we might have learned. This class has been a major part of that enjoyment...this class has helped me to see that "the journey is the thing." (Homer, The Iliad)
So just as I'm getting into college, truly, and it's about time...it is ending. So is the way of life. Yet I feel as if I am just beginning...I'm coming into myself, discovering who I want to be. I can make jokes aloud now, I can express my opinion more, I can get up in front of a class without having a panic attack and share important memories. This has truly been the most influential semester of my college career, except for my abroad experience, and this class was a major part in making that happen.
What next? Well, who knows, for all of us, but I feel so so grateful to have had a class with all of YOU. Thanks for the constant amazement and humor and inspiration and occasional shock. I am also incredibly grateful that, my last class, I had a class with THE Dr. Sexson. This is my first class with our resident genius, our Yoda, and I am sad to say, my final. I'm glad I was able to get into it, despite the red tape the English office had to cut through, and I'm glad to experience this epiphany with all of you! Too much brilliance for me to possibly list...and that continued with the presentations today. Group 3, the idea of reading lines from everyone's blogs was brilliant and an awesome ending to the semester--and I loved the tree of hands! Definitely brought back kindergarten memories :). I felt pretty stupid to not have realized these were all blog-lines until I heard one of my own...but slowly I came to realize why all of the words sounded very familiar. I loved that a idea...a mini tribute to all of us! Perfect!
The last group also was a tribute...we were all treated to the funeral of the English major. I loved that we all had a tombstone, and I loved the red brick atop Katie's head!! You all tied the class together through blogs and texts, and it was great fun, and definitely brought a few tears to my eyes a one point...I know, I'm a crybaby. I can't remember the exact point, as I was too involved to write it down, and I admit that bothers me. I think it was one of my own little epiphanies, a moment gone so fast I didn't even realize it, and will spend the rest of the day trying to remember it. We are all losing something, moving on...that is the way of life, again, but it still invokes much feeling.
We ended the class with the video of the night in the Baxter...very well edited, fun to watch, although watching myself on camera is not so fun. Great job to everyone who participated, and to Ben Miller the brilliant editor, and to Zuzu for again figuring out the technological mysteries.
Now, I will end the blabbing, the stream of consciousness once again...as Shakespeare said, "My thoughts fly up, my words remain below: Words without thoughts never to heaven go." (Hamlet)
I will end the semester with more words from Hamlet...remember thee, remember me, remember Dr. Sexson and Craig and Mick and Kari and Taylor and Sam and Derek and Nick and Rian and Abby and Katie and Helena and Zuzu and Adam and Robert and Tai and Douglas and Lisa M and Lisa Little Legs and Erin and Jennie Lynn and Ronald and Brianne and Joan and Kevin and Victoria and Pat, remember you! (And anyone else I may have forgotten) Someday, we will all be ghosts too...or in a different world, if we choose to pass through the curtain (I had to mention Harry Potter just ONCE). I wish you all well, in whatever world you happen to be, whatever you do, whoever you become. It's been a privilege! May you live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live.

"Remember thee!
Ay, thou poor ghost, while memory holds a seat
In this distracted globe. Remember thee!
Yea, from the table of my memory
I'll wipe away all trivial fond records,
All saws of books, all forms, all pressures past,
That youth and observation copied there...

ADIEU, ADIEU! REMEMBER ME. I HAVE SWORN'T."

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